10.21.2009

Dear Alicia

I used to really like you Alicia. Even though I foolishly missed out on the experience of your first album, Songs in A Minor, I have all your music from that point on. I appreciated your confidence to venture into the unknown with your music. You weren't like other singers, you had dignity, integrity and it showed in your music. You've sold millions of albums and won tons of awards with your somtimes alternative, sometimes neo-soul genre of music. I know a lot of your songs by heart, Alicia. You were a black woman that I could be proud of. As I watched you grow up musically, personally, and even fashionably; (remember those frontward braids?), I also watched you accept many awards for being the humanitarian that you were supposed to be. I said to myself, "Alicia is beautiful, inside and out." I said, "she actually cares, she knows what matters." The Alicia Keys that I admired would never be caught up in silly drama, or sing songs that could be damaging to a girl's self esteem, this Alicia was humble and educated. This Alicia was self-less and stood worlds above the people that make it harder to live in this world, you were a person that made it easy to listen to your music and not have to say "I like the music but not the person singing it". I stood up for you when other people talked shit about you. I remember when you first burst onto the music scence, it took me a minute to warm up to you but I enjoyed your braids, doo rag and jeans. You wrote your own songs and played the piano! You seemed down to earth, like a homegirl. You were a breath of fresh air from those of us tired from the same gyrating, skin baring singers we had been used to seeing. Your voice was powerful and filled with whatever emotion conveyed in the song. Your lyrics were about empowerment and staying true to yourself. I thought you were real Alicia.

Now, Alicia I find myself hating you more and more everyday. I can't see how someone who sang about Karma is now making bad karma for herself. You should have been the expert on the subject, this mistake that you have made, is a little girl's slip-up and Alicia you're supposed to be a woman. I will never understand how someone who gave all womyn everywhere hope and pride with a song like "Superwoman" can show us that someone who prided herself on being a role model can shatter images of what I good woman looks like for little girls who have no one else to look up to. I am still trying to wrap my mind around how you can help AIDS victims but yet help a man break a woman's heart. Alicia, how can you attribute to the misfortunate experience of breaking up someone's family? How can you leave a child with a broken home? And worst of all how can you show so little empahty or care about your actions and how they affect your fans and the people around you? Don't get me wrong Ms. Keys, I understand that when you're in the public eye you have to keep a persona that can sometimes be limiting. And of course, we all make mistakes. And maybe we all thought you were above making mistakes. But would it have been too much to think that you were above this? I tried to deny it at first. "Not Alicia", I said. Then I came to believe it after I saw pictures and tweets. I had put you on a pedastel that eventually proved to be too much for you to handle. I know your entitled to your privacy, but as someone who proved to a role model for millions, how can you so easily close the door on those who looked up to? I don't deny that you might be dealing with this sliently, but it sure doesn't look like it when I see pictures of you and Mr. Beats plastered on blogs, having a gay ol' time together. I also know it takes two to tango and I will even argue that Mr. Beats is more at faults than you are. He was the one in a relationship, not you. Maybe their marriage was already over, he just needed that extra push. But Alicia, why did you have to be that push? You seem to believe that you are above being the victim of a cheater's actions. Please know, that what goes around comes around, what goes up will come down, if he did it to her, its more than likely he will do it you too. I cannot tell you who to be involved with, Alicia, I just hoped that such an esteemed woman would make better, wiser choices for herself. Don't you know what you're worth Alicia? Did you sing about A Woman's Worth, but didn't have the self-esteem to know yours? I know how powerful love can be, how no matter how many times you leave, love just won't let you. I know, but please Alicia, try, try.