Chriannagate

We've all heard it. No matter if you tried to escape it or ignore it, you know about it. Rihanna and Chris. Or perhaps, you're on of those people that have engaged in many situations about th subject, maybe you've learned something new from one of your conversations. Or maybe you're one of those people that are sick of hearing about it, sick of seeing television specials about it, you wish people would just stay out of it! Either way, you're probably relatively familiar with the details and if not, STOP LIVING UNDER A ROCK! Recently some new dialouge has been added to the mix. Both Rihanna and Chris Brown have done highly publicized interviews with huge news sources; MTV and 20/20. First lets take a look at Chris (now remember this is all from MY opinion): He has been wrong through this whole situation. He has handled it completely recklessly. Stupid apologies. It doesn't even seem like the situation happened that long ago, and already he his back to making moves with his career. It shows a complete lack of respect and even reverence for the situation. Its like he is not taking the time to completely assess the situation and taking the time HE needs to get the help he needs, and figure out why he did what he did. Yea, he's said a few words about domestic violence, he's donated some funds to some places/people dealing with domestic violence, but it still doesn't seem like enough. There's two sides to every story. Who doesn't know that. But that doesn't mean that both sides are right, or even valid. There is usually just two different opinions. However, more often than not, there is only ONE right side. So, yes, of course people can say she deserved it(I've actually heard that). But at the end of the day, that's wrong. She didn't deserve that treatment. The truth is, no one REALLY knows what happened that eventful night. And even though some or all of the details we have maybe true, we can not say for sure. However, with the details that we BELIEVE are true, because we've simply heard them or because we see the validity in them or because we have even taken sides; no one in their right mind(I use that term very strictly) she deserves that.

We were all shocked, to see that it happened and to see that Chris was actually capable of something like that. We saw both of them as good kids, thanks to their image.

So something that you may not have heard about the situation is that the NCFM (National Coalition for Men) have released a statement, it is a plea urging Rihanna to come forward about abuse Chris has suffered at her hands.

I get involved and talk about celebrity affairs, because, number one, I have a interest in the celebrity. However, I also believe that it is good to learn from the mistakes of others, and I think we can all agree celebrities make some of the BIGGEST mistakes known to human kind. I think we can make good come from a bad situation. At the very least, we can use this situation as a catalyst to start the conversation about domestic violence, women's role in it, and especially how these subjects look in the Black American community.

I think its important to look at the response to this situation and see how it relates to how we deal with violence as Black Americans. I have never heard such severe responses to a abuse victim as I have heard towards Rihanna. I think its also important to see how we define abuse and violence, how some of us make excuses for this behavior and blame the victim, and how we measure the importance of the particular amount of violence faced. We have to admit that this issue goes beyond just Rihanna and Chris Brown and we need to see what the background to the situation is. These are two, young black celebrities with a lot of power and yet, very minimal power. Both parties have previously stated that their mothers suffered abuse while they were married. Then we have a sexual aspect, where we have a constant barrage of black women defending Chris, perhaps because they see him as a sex symbol, and still having a chance with him, sexually. Perhaps we and the media alike, have framed the issue as having two opposing sides, instead of each person involved needing help for emotional issues. Rihanna is also seen as the enemy, not just Chris. How awful it must be to go through an example of domestic violence then to have people who should defend you, make bad comments about you and the situation.

I do believe, that in order to get a clear view of ANY situation of domestic violence, there needs to be a clear conversation between both parties and a mediator to what happened. If Rihanna also took the role of an abuser in the relationship or even on that night, she needs to admit that to herself and who ever she is working with emotionally. Each case of abuse is different, however, we do get a one-sided view of domestic violence: man hits woman. We know that women are agressors in abuse situations all the time, its threat of violence, and a stigma that emasculizes men when they come forward about abuse. If Rihanna were to come out about her abuse, it could add to that conversation. It is not ok to hit ANYONE, whether you are a man or woman hitting a man or woman. We need to start to respect a person's body and work out our emotions in other ways besides violence.